Kinda finding this really weird cause this next segment of "Matters of the Heart" thing is really about the heart itself so idk this is pretty going to be about me rambling about crap :P But yeah, I thought I'd just make a really quick post about it since I felt like it and after getting back my GP paper today I'd thought why not continue this series to continue developing my own personal voice and practice how to construct arguments at the same time?
Pardon me if this post is going to be really terrible, because I'm really not good in expressing myself and this is also all going to come off from my head instantaneously (there's no planning time unlike a GP paper), so yeah. Try not to cringe at my bad writing HAHAHAHA.
The heart is such a funny thing, really.
The heart is indecisive, irrational, and always changes its decisions as and when it likes, since it's extremely dependent on emotions. It's pretty scary, to be honest, how sometimes people can be at peace and be friendly to each other one day, and then be instant enemies or complete strangers the very next because of certain events, or maybe even just over the most trivial of matters. Think about it: maybe by this time next year (or maybe even in a few months, days), we (yes, I mean me and you, the reader) might not ever be interacting with each other anymore, neither will you probably be interested in my affairs to be reading this blog anymore. We might not forget about each other so soon, but it could very well be only a matter of time before all of us moves on into the next phase of our lives. It's a very pessimistic view, I admit, but that's most likely going to be what's left of us as we leave school.
This time last year, I'd never have expected myself to be single when I was still enjoying my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Funnily enough, this day would have marked the 3rd anniversary with her had it not happened, and I can still remember the moment I confessed to her at approximately 8-9 after staying back for concert preparation for SE. Now, we don't even talk anymore, and neither do we have the guts to see eye to eye with each other when we have to meet up with the rest of our friends.
Scary, isn't it? The ones that you'd think would be the most important to you suddenly becoming total strangers that you can't recognise, or those who you'd thought you were important to suddenly treating you like nonsense all of a sudden. You get so emotionally attached and then get cut off in an instant. It's like being a piece of paper, with scotchtape all over it. Remove the tape too quickly, and a part of you gets torn off together with it. You then become broken, wondering why'd things suddenly come to this stage, wondering where the hell you've went wrong, or what'd you've done to deserve such a state. You lose part of your trust that you put in, and sadly it's going to be really tough to patch that torn spot no matter how hard you try; that paper won't come back in one piece. Maybe that's why some people don't bother trying to be nice, or would rather continue to be the antisocialistic, unfriendly person: "what's the use of being close when we're most likely going to end up as strangers eventually?"
But the heart can be wonderful as well. The heart, through emotional attachment, teaches us to be appreciative and not to take the things that matter to us for granted; it also reminds us that there are people who sincerely and truly care for us, as well as motivates us to fight for them, to try to do our best because we know that there's someone out there who's going to be appreciative of all of this. I, for one, am pretty dependent on others to be a driving force for myself to succeed, and am unwilling to fight for just myself. I prefer it when I get to help someone out and make their lives happier, even if it's just by a little bit. I'd like to be a major driving force for someone else to be better for themselves, and I want to help because I know I'm not alone in my struggle.
So in the end, the heart can be a real pain in the ass (and for most of the time too), but it serves as my driving force to continue living, in both literal and emotional sense. The joy of giving and receiving love and kindness is one of the most rewarding things that I think I will ever have, and despite all of the troubles and (sometimes) poor decision making, I definitely will stick by and continue to trust my heart. I hope that you all will continue to believe in your hearts while being mindful of its irrationality, because the heart is inherently good and ultimately, the greatest likely source of your happiness. (:
(Okay I just re-read this and it's pretty bad but whatever LOLOLOL I'm too tired to edit this today bye)
No comments:
Post a Comment