37: Apprehension

Big day tomorrow (Grade 8 Cello Exam), and I need to prepare myself, so here's a short post I guess!

Honestly, I still don't think I'm ready. Went for my last lesson, and I'd say that my feelings are a bit mixed. At the beginning I really couldn't play anything at all and I kept screwing up all my fingerings/technical playing/intonation and everything was basically pure hell. I thought that the MEP chamber practice and the continuous training for the past 3 days straight would have warmed me up or at least got me up to standard, but I just played real horribly, and I felt really terrible.

However things did get better later, and I could play almost everything rather perfectly except for a few blemishes here and there (or at least, it way exceeded my expectations), so I'm rather happy about that. I hope I maintain this standard as the minimum for tomorrow, and it's not some one time fluke which will result in me playing as shitty as in the earlier part of the day.

Anyway, I don't know what's going to happen, but I pray I'll perform fantastically tomorrow, and get a distinction for this exam, if not high distinction (but that's almost impossible given my standards at the moment eheheheh). Else I can really kick myself for screwing up things since I already invested so much effort into preparing this.

Since it's already so late into the night and I can't disturb the neighbours any further, I guess it's time to focus on cramming all sorts of musical theory and history into my head now because I suck at answering questions about pieces and my mind is still blank at the moment haiz :/

DISTINCTION. MUST GET. NO LESS. COME ON!