So I was brainstorming for more ideas to post on my blog and I suddenly came up with this idea of posting a series, called "Matters of the Heart". Basically I'll be blogging on a certain topic or issue and giving my personal opinions and experiences about it. Kinda like a h2h thing but I'm actually revealing myself to you all without getting anything in return LOL okay maybe this is a stupid decision cause I'm just exposing myself ._. But nvm I shall just save this idea first just in case I forget about it (this could be a one-time thing for all I know anyway LOL).
Anyway, today's topic, as you can already see from the header, is about emotional attachment. Quite a confusing thing really but something we all definitely have in us. Of course, from the words itself, emotional attachment is literally the situation when you feel yourself being bonded to a certain person, thing or event after a period of time.
Of course, being emotionally attached to something means that that something is important to you, which is a good thing since you'll be putting in more effort to make sure that there is continuity. A bonded class will try to make more efforts to have class outings, and cliques/groups will try to meet up as often as possible, even if they haved moved on to other things. Whatever it is, when one has an emotional attachment to something, he/she will try to maintain the status quo, if not improve his/her relationship with it. And it's especially great when you know that the other party is also emotionally attached to you as well, because they'll be putting in their effort to make sure that they do not lose whatever they have with you. It's this that forges the best and strongest forms of friendships/relationships within people, one that will last long, even through times of difficulty, because everyone is trying to make things work.
But we all know too that this isn't always the case. Sometimes the other party just doesn't feel emotionally attached to you (most probably because there is something else). You may not be bonded to your new class because you miss the old times with your previous class and the friends in it, or you may want to stick to a particular group of people/person because you think they're more fun to hang around (we all have our preferences, lets face it). Whatever it is, that's when you know having an emotional attachment sucks because you know simply that you're probably not as important to them as they are to you. It never feels good when others don't reciprocate (as much as what you think you gave).
That's when all of the questions start to come in.
What now?
Should I stop trying?
What's the point of doing this when they're probably not going to appreciate what I've put in?
The problem when this happens is that you'll start to be in doubt. You'll be doubtful of the other party, doubtful of your efforts as well as yourself. And the more you continue to ask such questions, the more you are actually convincing yourself that it's not worth holding on to this. Slowly but surely, you'll be pulling out and losing your own emotional attachment, because you'll be searching for something that you think is worth your effort. You stop trying, and slowly what used to be so dear to you may possibly mean nothing much but a mere memory. That's pretty scary, to be honest.
But that's not the biggest issue of all. The problem comes in (for some individuals only) when through your moments of self-doubt, you start looking for other's contributions towards yourself. So instead of "what should I be doing for others", it becomes "what can others be doing for me". Because you thought you gave a lot in the past, so now you want to take more. You will start to view everything in the view of "what can I benefit out from this", mainly because you don't want to feel hurt twice. So what happens after that is you wait for someone to make an effort before you actually decide to put in yours. "Fairness" is what these people will justify it as, but in reality it's nothing more than being plain selfish in my opinion.
There is also another case of severe emotional attachment, where one may possibly become too clingy or too overreliant till the extent where it becomes annoying for the other party. But I shall not elaborate on this because I'm getting lazy & I don't have much to talk about this (i rarely come across this anyway bc most of the people fall in the first category anyway rather than in this...)
Anyway, whatever it is, I believe that it all comes down to managing our expectations of others well. Being emotionally attached to something is a great feeling, especially when others are able to reciprocate the same towards us. Although this doesn't happen all the time, it doesn't necessarily mean you should stop trying! It takes effort from both sides to make a relationship work so it's up to you whether you feel that it's worth your effort to try. But I believe good things will come if you try hard enough so it's okay to be the one to put in more sometimes! Actually I don't really know what I'm saying/what I should say about this anymore so I shall end this post abruptly here LOL.
Btw, yall can suggest me topics to talk about if you guys really want to hear my opinion on anything I guess? But as you can see here I pretty much dont make much sense LOLOLOL.
Okay bye!
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